Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Student RenéMale/Germany Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Months
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 36 Deviations 74 Comments 2,269 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

They won't stop watching me!
Entry #1 — 05/02/18
Back in therapy Doctor Schulz told me that whenever I had strange thoughts, I should write them down. That’s the reason I started this journal.
I am not sure what it is, but in these past weeks, I had the feeling that strange things were going on. I think people are watching me.
I live in a massive apartment building. The flats are small but affordable. There is one problem: The missing solitude, peace and especially privacy.
Knowing that dozens or even hundreds of people live in the same building is a suffocating thought. It has been bothering me ever since I moved in.
The apartment building is part of an extensive residential area. There is nothing but rows and rows of similar buildings next to each other. They are only divided by small recreational areas nested between them.
The closeness of the buildings makes living here a bit awkward. When I first moved I had no blinds or curtains. I felt a bit naked, to be honest. Anyone from th
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 0 0
Do you know how long sleep paralyis can last?
Most people know about sleep paralysis. Only a Few know that it can last for up to an hour. Not being able to move for a few minutes is scary. Not being able to move for an hour is the most terrifying thing in the world. I read online that writing about your problems can help to resolve them, so here goes nothing!
I have suffered from sleep paralysis ever since I was a little girl. It all started during third grade.
I remember it like it was yesterday. We were supposed to go on a class trip the next day. Shy and awkward little me was the prime target of our class’ bullies. That same day I had lost one of my baby teeth, an incisor. I knew those bullies would give me hell on the trip. I cried and pleaded with my parents, but as always they didn’t budge.
“It is going to be fine sweetie.”
“Nothing bad is going to happen Claire, the trip will be fun!”
Yeah right, they didn’t know how bad Mark and Lisa could be.
That night bad dreams plagued my sleep
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 2 3
Not All Lighthouses are Built to Guide Ships
Most old lighthouses have turned into useless remnants of the past. New technology, modern ships, and GPS have made them almost obsolete.
Not in my town though. Our old lighthouse is still very much operative and watched over by an old lighthouse keeper. Each night, the light beam is moving over the surface of the ocean till the sun comes up.
My town is a small, remote coastal town in northern Germany. Only a few thousand people live here and we scarcely get visitors. It also isn't too farfetched to say we are a bit behind.
I graduated school with barely average grades. For the first two years, I worked here and there to earn some money, but it was never anything substantial.
It was earlier this year that I found out that the old lighthouse keeper was retiring. Of course, someone was needed to replace him.
It wasn't exactly my dream job, but at least it would be a permanent position. I visited the old man, Mister Wallace, right away and told him about my interest in the job.
I somehow
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 2 5
The Constant
A Constant: Something that is invariable or unchanging, such as a fixed number or a logical term.
It had been one of those days when everything went wrong. After getting up I bumped my head, causing a giant bruise and an ongoing headache. Then I missed my train, couldn't find a taxi and arrived half an hour late for work.
It wouldn't have been a big deal if it hadn't been the exact day of a meeting with a valuable customer. He ended up leaving as I arrived. My manager informed me that this would have serious consequences. That promotion I'd been working for, he said, I could forget about it.
When I finally arrived at home, after hours of overtime, I had a quick meal. It was the precooked microwave type.
I went on Netflix and clicked through the list of series and movies for a bit. Then I closed my browser again. For a while I sat in my chair, contemplating going to bed.
Instead, I decided I'd go for a walk. After a day like that, I needed to unwind. My phone showed me that it wa
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 0 5
Emily's Envy
Emily always aimed to be at the top. She just had to be number one. There was only one problem: Her sister Heather.
Heather had it all. She was pretty, smart, athletic and by far the most popular girl in school. To top it all off, she did it without even trying.
Emily herself was pretty and smart too, but Heather was on a whole different level. She always outshined her younger sister.
I got to know the two of them when I was in second grade. They moved into the house next door with their dad. It was only natural for us to become friends. Especially Emily and I became pretty close, considering that we were in the same grade.
It’s hard to say when Emily’s envy began. It might have started during middle school, but now I think it did much earlier.
Emily never showed it openly. In front of her sister and her father, she wore the mask of the ideal younger sibling. She pretended to be happy for her sister, to even admire her. Deep inside though, she was furious.
I knew because Em
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 1 0
Feral Lust
There are two things you can find these days endlessly: Information and Porn.
It is all thanks to the internet. There are thousands of porn sites and millions of pornographic videos on the web. Each day their number is growing.
While most people consume porn occasionally, some grow obsessed with it, addicted even. My Cousin Lester is a prime example.
Growing up, we were pretty close, almost like brothers. There was one thing though that I noticed even as a child. Lester was a typical nobody. He was someone that was not interesting at all and that you quickly overlooked. He was a nobody at school, a nobody at home and once he graduated, even a nobody at work.
He had always been on the short side and grew into a short, chubby man. His whole demeanor reminded you of that of a frightened animal that tried its hardest not to be noticed. It wasn't uncommon for people to forget that Lester was around.
Now don't get me wrong, he was not sad or depressed. His life was quite alright. He liked th
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 0 0
Never try to cheat the wrong people...
Gary was an oddball, a weirdo. His jokes always went a bit too far and too dark.
I got to know him after joining a Skype chat for aspiring online entrepreneurs.
We were both enthusiastic about earning a living online and make it big one day. Like me, Gary was frustrated about his day job, his lack of money and life in general.
Every member of the chat was a bloody beginner.
Like many other members of our group, Gary earned a big fat zero in his initial couple of months. What made him different from the rest of us was his drive and ambition. Even after many members gave up after not earning a dime, he kept going. He was the type who'd either make it or die trying. If for nothing else, I respected him for that.
It was another month later when he finally showed me a screenshot of his first few affiliate marketing commissions. Sure it wasn't anything significant, but it was a good enough start.
For me, things didn't go too well. Even after half a year of trying all sorts of ways and techni
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 2 0
The Changeling
There are sometimes tales that you can’t believe ever really happened. It was on a nice Saturday afternoon that I heard one such tale.
I’d been tasked by dad to mow the lawn and to clean up the old shack next to our house. It had taken me most of the morning and a good part of the afternoon.
As I finally closed the doors of the shack I noticed our next door neighbor, Mister Kunze, sitting outside on a bench in front of his house. He was reading from what I assumed to be his bible.
The old man had always been very religious and a devoted Christian, but it seemed that in the last years he’d been drawn more and more to the Holy Scripture. I often wondered if it was because of his old age and if death was an ever present, impending shadow.
I always liked the old man. When I was younger, he’d often watched out for me when my parents weren’t around and I had spent many afternoons just talking with him. He was one of the nicest people I knew. So of course, when I
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 1 0
The Thirsty Boar
"Come on, just admit it!"
"Shut up, Steve! No, nothing happened that night."
"Oh really? I bet Jay here heard the story too."
With that, he turned to Jay who walked a couple of steps behind us.
"I am really not interested in whatever bullshit you guys are talking about."
Steve looked from him back to me.
"Tch, you guys are no fun."
With that, he sped up a bit and took the lead. I rechecked my phone. It was already long past eleven in the evening.
"Yo, Jay, you sure that campsite is up here? Like anywhere?"
"It should be pretty close," he said without looking at me.
"That's what you said half an hour ago, man. Can't you check Google Maps or something?"
He took out his phone, looked at it for a couple of seconds before putting it back in his pocket.
"Got no signal out here."
"Are you freaking kidding me? We are in the middle of this freaking forest and-"
"Hey guys, look at that!" Steve called out to us.
Jay and I came over to where he was standing. He was holding up his phone to
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 4 2
True Human Potential
It all had started with an obsession for talk shows in my teenage years. I couldn't get enough of them. The audience, the mundane topics, the drama, it was terrific.
It was years later, on a studio tour, that I found out about audience extras. I signed up for the program almost immediately.
Being an audience extra means, that you are invited to sit in shows to fill up empty seats. There are quite a few shows that invite in audience extras for free, to give the impression of being packed.
It was back in 2008 that I sat in the audience of a talk show for the first time. Being there and seeing everything first hand was an exhilarating experience.
At first, I only acted as an audience extra a few times, every few months. Those few visits were all that was needed to rekindle my teenage obsession.
After a while, I tried to get a seat in the big and famous shows as often as I could. I encountered two problems though. First, there are not always empty seats. Second, if there are, it is never e
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 2 2
The Man in the Storm
Prison is never a nice place. Especially not for new guys like me. This is not important right now though. I am only allowed to use the computer and access the internet for so long. What is important though is how got here.
You see, a month ago I was a regular guy.
I'd finally finished my engineering degree. Before I was going to join the workforce though, I had decided to go on a well-earned vacation. One of my favorite things to do was hiking or being more precise backpacking. During my semester breaks, I traveled through vast areas of Germany and parts of Western Europe.
I was a typical loner, always had been. It was only natural that I enjoyed spending my time alone in the wilderness.
I planned to spend spring and summer backpacking one last time. There were a few areas I wanted to see in Germany, and I'd planned on making my way up to Denmark and then Scandinavia. I'd never been there yet.
On a Friday night a few weeks ago I was out wandering. I loved the darkness of the night, th
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 3 2
Stephan de Preaulx, Violinist Extraordinaire
Most of us wonder what it would like to be famous, to be a star.
I guess that is one of the reasons that caused the success of casting or talent shows. They are one of the many trends the early 2000s brought.
After working in it for quite a few years, I knew the television industry could be harsh. When I was offered to work in this new and upcoming genre, I took the chance.
For years I worked in my countries equivalent of Popstars, Got Talent, Top Models, The Voice, and other similar shows. Before you ask, no, I was not a juror, moderator or writer. I was part of the production team. Being behind the curtains taught me more than a bit about the ins and outs of the industry.
It is not news to most, but most of those shows are fake and scripted.
The producers always have a clear idea about the show beforehand. They know exactly what types of people they need for a season to be great. While talent is a necessity, certain other criteria are more important.
The most important thing is that
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 3 10
Old Rain Man
"Creepy man! Creepy man! Old rain man! Old rain man!" my young voice echoed through the humid air.
The target of these anxious yells was old rain man. He was a sort of village curiosity, the local boogeyman.
The origin of his name was as simple as it gets: the old man was only seen when it rained. Then he'd leave his house, cross the yard and sit down on the bench in front of it. Once the rain stopped, he'd vanish back inside.
We kids had our share of stories and ideas about him. Some said he was the one who made it rain. Others said he wanted to flood the village. There were even a few who thought he was secretly an amphibian who needed the rain to survive.
In our village, there were never so much as a few days without heavy rain. Considering that, those stories seemed more than a bit plausible to us kids.
We kids often dared each other to provoke him or go near him. This time it had been my turn to yell at him to see if he'd come after me. In the end, though, the old man did nothing.
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 3 4
Mushroom Hunting
Memory is such a strange thing. We never forget. It is only the connections which erode and eventually vanish. If we restore these connections, we also gain back the memory.
This can be triggered when we visit places that were significant to us. We visit our childhood home, and those precious first memories come back to us.
This happened to me not long ago. I visited my aunt, Maria. She never married and still lives in the same house she was born in, my grandparent's.
I was a city child and often spent many of my summer holidays there.
I never really got to know my grandma. She died when I was only two years old. The less I remember about her though, the more I remember about my grandpa. A life of farming and taking care of livestock had made him a sturdy, but happy old man. He often took me out on long walks through the village, where he told me many of the stories and legends of the area. What I liked most about him was, that he showed me many handy little tricks that could make your
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 5 5
I still hope my friend is just playing a trick on
Do you know the cold feeling when something is happening that makes no real sense? I am sure most of you know it.
It is often only there in those short moments before we remember that one detail that explains what is going on. I have been searching for it this whole evening.
Last night, as you all know, was Friday.
On Friday I usually hang out with a good friend of mine, Frederick. We are both not the party and bar type anymore. Instead, we tend to hang out at his place, have a couple of beers and watch a movie or two on his home theater projector.
Yesterday wasn’t much different. When I finally made my way home, it was almost three in the morning. You could say I was pleasantly buzzed, but not wasted.
The next morning, I woke up when my phone notified me that I’d gotten a WhatsApp message. Cursing that I forgot to mute the damn phone again, I checked to see who it was. It was by Sue, Frederick’s girlfriend. She’d sent me a picture of the two of them in front of
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 5 5
Noisy Neighbors
"God, you are such an idiot Tom!"
"Shut up, Sue!"
I could hear their exchange from the other side of the wall and the laughter following it.
Noisy neighbors, we all know them, and I am sure many of you have their own first-hand experiences.
They come in all types and ages: Students partying in the middle of the week like Tom, Sue and their friends. But there was also old people watching TV at max volume, couples fighting and screaming at each other or kids who are a little too loud when playing.
Some years ago I used to live in the low-income area of my city. Some of you might have one word on their mind right away: ghetto. It wasn't like that. The area itself wasn't that bad. What was bad, were the buildings. Look up 'Soviet Living Complexes Germany,' and you know what I am talking about. Even the better ones are cheaply made, old-fashioned and barely adequate for our times.
Back in the day, when these complexes were new, everyone wanted to live there. After the Germany reunion though
:iconrakushasuu:Rakushasuu 5 2


No Favourites yet.


Since I am not that active on DeviantArt throughout the week, I decided to give you a few more places to connect with me in case you are interested.
You can like my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter . Those are generally the places where I am most active throughout the week.

It would be great to keep hearing from the people who like my work.


Rakushasuu's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Literature
I am a writer of horror stories, unsettling tales and general weird fiction.


Add a Comment:
Phoebe-Wang Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
ThiranosTales Featured By Owner May 30, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch!
Ran11045 Featured By Owner May 27, 2018  Student Writer
Thanks for the watch .-. 
IAmSimCarstairs Featured By Owner May 26, 2018
Rene, thank you for the watch, it is greatly appreciated!
ScarletRaven12 Featured By Owner May 22, 2018  Student General Artist
Thanks for the Watch.
Feel free to check out my story in the mean time. ^_^
Yuukon Featured By Owner May 22, 2018   Photographer
Thank you for watching me, I appreciate your support! :iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3:
Logander69 Featured By Owner May 22, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch! :)
jonwassing Featured By Owner May 20, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you for the watch!
MidKnightTales Featured By Owner May 20, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you ever so much for the watch. :)
Add a Comment: